Happy Halloween, little monsters everywhere!

Confused men for confusing times.

Official prayers and best wishes from here to all the folks in Sandy’s path. I hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten until I got the kids to bed and got online. Take care of yourselves and others.

In solidarity from the earthquake coast.

Yeah.

How quickly we go from sporting triumph to sporting irritation. Two absolutely horsebleep calls on the 49ers first drive and punt. Bring back the scab refs.

If today’s Tea Party had been in Boston during the Revolutionary War era, they would have thrown real Indians into the harbor and begged the British to pretty-please trickle down a little of that tax income to them.

Look, I don’t even like the Democrats all that much, but the next person who says “Both parties are the same” in front of me is going to get reamed until they never want to say something stupid in front of me again. Even if they like reaming more than even the most pro-ream internet interest group.

The Democrats are middle-of-the-road, pro-business, mildly pro-environment, and way too open to being nudged into even more spineless positions when necessary.

The Republicans as a group (because they let first the evangelists, then the teabaggers take over much of the party) are crazy. Their actual policies don’t stand up to any mainstream scrutiny, their track record in office is dreadful, and they will say or do anything to anybody to protect the rights of people with huge amounts money, including employing racism and homophobia to a terrifying degree, thus appealing to people who otherwise have no personal stake in helping rich people becoming more obscenely rich.

Now, there are lots and lots of good Republicans and lots of sincere, committed, idealistic Democrats — I’m friends with quite a few of both. But I’m telling you where the parties stand. So that’s your choice — overly-business-friendly pseudo-liberals or the pawns of wealthy men, guided by zealots who literally want to make us a Christian country by statute and would imprison women for being raped and refusing to carry the child.

Like I said, I’m not crazy about the Democrats, but there is a definite choice between the two and I made mine a long time ago.

Into Halloween week. This is serious stuff. I want you all on your best behavior by All Souls Day.

Before then, you’re free to mess around, of course.

I told my kids in the sixth inning, “Trust me, if there’s any team you want to be rooting for in a 0-0 game right now, it’s the Giants playing at home. Something good will happen. They’ll scratch out at least one run and they’ve got the bullpen to hold a shutout.” They don’t appreciate how amazing it is how right I always am about things like this. (I called Panda’s third homer last night before it happened, while we were out eating in a restaurant.) Dang takin’-it-for-granted kids.

To whoever sent me the invitation to befriend Alan Rickman. I don’t friend on recommendations, but it’s a kind thought, and if he wanted to be my friend I’d agree in an instant. However, I wonder if it’s really our friend the Sherrif of Nottingham because this one spells it “Allan”.

Justin Verlander is an amazing pitcher, but I think we just found his Achilles’ heel, and it’s named Panda.

Witness my profile pic. Eddie Gaedel, the only little person ever to play in a major league game — one at bat, lifetime .000 average, 1.000 on base percentage. Extra-credit: What was his number? No looking it up. The real fans know.

Sports thought: With the career revivals by Alex Smith for the Niners, and now Barry Zito and Ryan Vogelsong for the Giants (as well as Posey winning the official award for it) San Francisco is now officially Comeback City.

Saw my friends Scott and Dena today, and decided with all the sad things that have happened in many people’s lives lately, it’s good to be with people you like and just enjoy them. I know that sounds obvious, but that’s why I had to stop and remind myself of it — sometimes happiness, like the purloined letter, is right under your nose. The Now is a good place. We should all enjoy it more.

Ann Coulter called President Obama “the retard” tonight on her Twitter account. I wish she and her ilk would just start throwing the “N” word around and admitting they hate him for being uppity — it would be more honest.

This is an example of what happens when you live in a fantasy world where all news that is not created BY wingnuts like you, FOR wingnuts like you, is “biased. This is what happens when you sincerely believe everyone is just like you, except you’re just more honest.

But you’re not. You’re just a horrible person.

What you fail to understand is how your own nastiness corrupts your view. The rest of us are not filled with blind hatred for anyone who disagrees with us. Over the long term, even non-political people begin to recognize the haters in their midst and shy away from them.

That’s why you, the Ann Coulters of the world, are always claiming “bias”. You’re right. We more ordinary, humane, and sensible folk are biased against your ideas, your hate, and your twisted take on reality.

You people, you Ann Coulter people, are freaks, thank God.

Could have been there at AT&T but couldn’t work it out. Still, great night for the Gs, and glad our friends Todd and Annamarie Holland Daniels were there, getting wet and crazy and representin’. Go Giants! Welcome, Tigers!

The Dylan Thomas of Phylum Mollusca.

Our dear friend Virginia would have appreciated tonight’s Giants game. The season has fulfilled all the promise it showed. Anything after this will be pure -lagniappe-.

Will Ferrell’s Old Milwaukee beer commercials, showing only in Sweden. “This is my boat. This is my woman. This is my beer. It’s okay.”

Will Ferrells Old Milwaukee Swedish Svenska båt film

Sweet merciful God, people can say some pretty stupid things. This is what happens when you let apes start evolving — they lose their dignity.

One dear friend’s grandfather died. Another dear friend’s mother died. George McGovern, one of my very few living heroes, died. Tough, tough weekend. Godspeed to all of them, and a moment for the rest of us to consider our priorities, because that’s what they gave us — better ways to think about things and an example of how to be.

Sad news tonight. A dear friend’s mom died, a lady we knew and loved. I’m not looking for condolences — they belong to our friend and the family — but I’m mentioning it on my wall because it would be wrong for the stream of my daily Facebook life to go past and not take note of it, and how sorry we are about it. Be well, all of you, and treasure time.

Five point three quake out in the California Central Valley. Hope everyone’s okay and the damage is minor. My kids were very excited and a little nervous — neither of them had fallen asleep. I pronounced it a good starter quake and they have returned to the soft and downy.